What bliss it is to do nothing. What a joy. What freedom.
What boredom. What lack of productivity. What lack of accomplishment.
Now there are two mutually exclusive thoughts and statements. My parents raised me with a work ethic that no matter what, I had to be doing something. Even if I was watching TV, I still had to be doing something. Play left my vocabulary somewhere after my sixth birthday. All my efforts had to be towards accomplishing something. Not sure there was even a plan or a bigger goal. It was just a pile of tasks. And so my life went. Doing.
When my daughter was little and mindlessly prattling words that were part of her world I heard her say ‘I’m doing’ or ‘I’m busy’. It stopped me in my tracks. That was what I was teaching her. With a young family there is always so much to do. But we took family vacations and had experiences beyond the day to day of school and work which was different than my childhood. Being conscious of it, I tried to strike a balance, some years were better than others.
My idea of doing nothing is just being wherever I am. Not interacting to change something. Observing both the environment and myself – how I feel, how I breathe, what I see, what I hear. Take a walk in a field or a forest and just be part of the living that is going on there without human intervention. Be part of the grasses and the trees. Sit on the deck and watch people and dogs go by. Watch the birds in the air, the airplanes overhead taking people to other destinations. Hear the kids in the neighbourhood playing. Being content with just being part of it all without interacting with it.
It is said that spending time in nature is good for the soul – there is movement, there is looking at things are not of man’s making, there is breathing and hearing and seeing the various layers noticed with each look. I have to concur. I feel more renewed from a nature walk than when I walk the paths in my neighbourhood. I push myself to do that more.
In one of my favourite Calvin & Hobbes comics Bill Watterson drew Calvin and Hobbes by a stream. Calving is turning over rocks. Hobbes is sitting. The caption is “Sometimes one should look at things and think about things without doing things.” I have it posted on my wall. Just to remember.
The very best part about retirement is this. This tiny little secret that you mustn’t share with anyone. That no matter how you feel about doing nothing today, no matter how good you feel you did, you can wake up tomorrow and do it all over again. Practice makes perfect.
I regularly need to give myself permission to do nothing. Old habits are hard to change. To not be accountable for producing something each day still fells a little like playing hooky. My goal is to answer the question “so what do you do all day?” with nothing but a “meh” and a shrug of my shoulders.
If I had figured out how to do nothing earlier in my life I would be better at it now. But I would likely not be where I am today if I had done that. And I’m pretty ok with where I am at.
2021
Seven years later I am still working on doing nothing. Especially with so much more time at home it is doubly hard. This past year I have made a conscious effort to use up what I have inventoried around my house – wool, material, wood, grass seed and fertilizer, recipes, books. It has made for a creative year. But I did ask myself once, if I didn’t know how to sew or crochet or knit, what would I have done with this time? Would I have spent it making something bigger? Would I have eaten myself into a whole new wardrobe? What would I have done?
I have come to appreciate the fact that I have these craft skills that I can use to make. I enjoy the making. I made a dragon this year from a pattern I bought on Etsy. Thank you Amanda Berry. I’m glad I can make dragons and mice, and chickens and blankets. It’s a legacy that leaves the world with a smile and something kind of cute.
