My most puzzling question of retirement was how much is enough? And what is enough? Ok. That’s two.
One definition of enough is ‘adequate for want or need’. And there lies the dilemma. There is a lot of difference for me personally between what I need and what I want, and that difference meant I had to make choices. (Not unlike pre retirement life, I’ll admit.)
I think the definition of ‘enough’ in retirement is ‘having enough to do what you want to do’. That meant having realistic expectations, money management practices that were different than when I worked, and figuring out what to do if there was a gap between what I would like and what I can do with my money each month. Mostly that meant deferring spending.
I knew at the very least, the resources had to give me what I needed – a roof over my head, a warm place to live that had lights, water and heat, food to sustain me both in appetite and health, insurance to protect my possessions. Wow. I stopped there because realizing this was a huge list of needs that were quite sufficient for a decent life.
Yet, when I looked at my current budget, it included funds for game and concert tickets, travel, cell phone, cable, internet, and Netflix, car fuel, repairs, and insurance, and cash for eating out, clothes, gifts and books. These comprised my “want” categories. Yet I expected my financial resources to fund both.
I felt that if I could fund my “wants” I could say with confidence I had enough. And yet, despite the dollars balancing, I felt I didn’t have enough. Or maybe was scared I would have to defer something one day or not do it at all.
I eventually realized that my insecurity around money was a feeling, not a fact. It originated in being raised in a house where shopping for the self was selfish and “bad”. And was further solidified when always making ends meet when raising two kids on my own. It was tricky to balance those old tapes against the reality of my first weeks of retirement. I was constantly looking at my finances to confirm I had enough for the month’s needs, that next trip, or something for me.
The second puzzling question was “how long would I need the money?” That’s another big dilemma in retirement. If I knew the answer to that then the want/need balance would be easier to attain and maintain.
I searched online for ‘life expectancy calculation’ and found a number of websites that would calculate when I would celebrate my last birthday based on answers to a few questions. They are based on actuarial tables using habits to define life span. I answered those questions, and presto I was told I would live until I was 92. Interesting – almost everyone in the generation before me passed in their 70s.
Living to 92 is a long time when I wasn’t yet 60. Which I think heightened my concern about having enough. But I had no need for any big spends until the car needed to be replaced. And I could manage economical travel and entertainment to make sure I could live out my days without worrying about the dollars too much. I determined that I need to have an abundant mindset, believing there was enough.
I decided I would say I had enough until proven otherwise. After all that was what I said when I retired, I think I have enough and am willing to find out. This rewrote over the old tapes from a different time and place. And forged a new mindset that allowed more enjoyment and less worrying. That’s significant.
2021
So after six years, I still worry a little about having enough. Some tapes are hard to rewrite over. But I keep at it. Evidence indicates I have enough. The bills are paid. I eat well. Anything that has broken has been fixed. I have traveled and experienced lots.
I am spending energy worrying about something I can solve by finding work, downsizing, getting a room mate, not traveling, selling services, and a variety of other ways to raise funds to supplement my income.
For now I am content with what I have. It is enough.
